Most all of you will wind up getting married (that is if you haven’t already). A commitment like marriage is not to be taken lightly by any stretch of the imagination. Any woman I would consider a candidate for my future wife had better be damn near perfect. I want a Cinderella, someone who is beautiful, intelligent, innocent, athletic and possessed of moral worth character and integrity. Other PB’s consider more tangible attributes such as wealth, social status, education and the like. I don’t really care so much about those things, because they’re frivolous and can be attained by most anyone. My criteria are innate. You either have them or you don’t. They cannot be acquired. Fortunately or unfortunately, most PB’s don’t base the decision of who they are going to marry on any set criteria (tangible or intangible), but rather on a gut feeling that “she’s the one”. This type of decision making has been appropriate for some, but meant disaster for others. Regardless of how you feel, you have to be somewhat logical about your decision: That means no titty dancers, no one with mental illness, no one who was formerly married, no one with children. I wouldn’t consider not having a relationship with someone because of any of these things, but I would keep my emotions in check and would not contemplate marriage with any of them.
The great philosopher Hume used to advocate that man made all decision based on his emotions— not rational thought, as Aristotle had taught many years before. No matter which one of these intellectual giants was more correct in your mind the end result is clear. They are both right. Your decision of who to marry must be both a left and right brained decision. Remember that this is the girl that is going to be taking you out of the game. She had better be damn phat! You have to have profound feelings for this woman. You have to see her bearing your children, being there for you in times of crisis, staying loyal to you when tempted and growing old with you. There are only two things a wife could ever do to prompt a rational husband to end things with her— children or no children. Those are if she ever broke a promise to him, or if she betrayed him in some way. Adultery meets both of those criteria.
You want to love the woman you marry so much that when you see her walk into the room, you heart jumps (not because your doing something you shouldn’t be— like hitting on a hot piece of Y, but because you love her that much). If you don’t have those feelings, you have to carefully re-evaluate your decision to marry. It’s true that many couples don’t really consummate their love until they have been married for a time or have children together. But you have to at least know in your soul that the day inevitably come when you feel that strongly about her. You have to see yourself being loyal to her too as well. If you can’t, because you feel you just don’t love her the way you thought you did, you can end the relationship before there are any children. But let me tell you. Once you both have children together, it’s over. Then adultery on your part not only hurts the woman but the innocent child as well, and that’s irresponsible. Good luck, and may God guide you in this all-important decision.