Top Ten Heroes


10) John F. Kennedy— a guy who runkled Marilyn Monroe on the White House lawn in

front of the secret service and got away with it. Happy Birthday, Mr. President!

9) Russ Meyer— a man who makes classic movies featuring some of the biggest, baddest

breasts on the planet. Thanks for the mammaries, Russ! <p

8) Julio Eglesias— a guy who averages 100 paternity suites a year! Obviously this guy

never learned to wrap it before he wet it— something one needs to do these days, lest one

need to scratch it, and give it antibiotics.

7) John Stagliano— the biggest name in pornography. He must get ridiculous amounts of

booty, breast and box.

6) Ron Jeremy— an ugly guy with a big dick who actually gets paid to runkle hot chicks.

5) Dean Cain (SupermanWbagging Shields, Anderson anckReece. I guess he is the man Qf

steel on and off the set. ^S^v^a^)         ^ ^ j) Q a ^ 6 j£)

4) Warren Beaty— Seamore, Store, Crawford^and Pheiftr. Need I say more?

3) Wilt Chamberlain— scoring<|pl00 points in one game and 20,000 women in one

lifetime. So what if he exaggerated just a little.

2) Bob Guccionne—despite his pussy son, the guy is an animal!

1) Hugh Heffner— a guy who for two y§ars didn’t wear anything but pajamas and never

found cause to leave Playboy Mansion West  We’re not worthy!