Top Ten Commandments of Dating

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I have several rules about dating that I’d like to share with you— most of which I I’ve broken at least once in my life. All of them are born of my experiences both home and abroad. Alternatively, you could keep things much simpler, like a good friend of mine at Harvard. His only rule was: “She’s go to be lighter than my truck and younger than my mother, but I can drop one of these requirements if I’m drunk!”

1)  I never date anyone older than I am.

2)I never date anyone with a bigger ass than I have.

3)I don’t date anyone with short hair.

4)I don’t hook up with nurses, or anyone involved in medicine (too incestuous).

5)I never spend a significant amount of money on any chick, unless she has spoiled me in some way, or I feel as though she deserves it.

6)I will always go out with any chick who has the balls to approach me at least once, as long as I have the time— no matter what she looks like.

7)I never get jealous, lose control of my emotions, my head or my wallet.

8)I never take chances with my health or with birth control, i.e. no chowing box, no hooking up with total ho’s and always using a condom.

9)I will never hook up with a buddy’s girlfriend, anyone’s fiance or wife or anyone who is not sexually and emotionally mature.

10)         I would never jeopardize loosing or even offending a friend or family member for any
chick— period.

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