Orlando, Florida USA


Orlando is a kid’s paradise with Disney World, Sea World, MGM Studios, Universal Studios and Epcot Center— all located here. It’s a great place to go, if you are a very young man wanting to meet very young women, who are on their once-a-year family vacation. If you can somehow separate them from their parents, you may be in business. Alternatively, if you can lure Goofy into an alley, beat the crap out of him and steal his costume, you may be cop a feel with some poor unsuspecting 8th grade girl. Fortunately, there are also plenty of young, good-looking Florida natives who work in all of these places during the summer. Epcot Center is my personal favorite, because Disney flies in foreign scamper to work its international pavilions in an effort to give Epcot’s “world showcase” an atmosphere of authenticity. Wu!

Church Street Station is the place to be for weekend nighttime revelry. Makos is my absolute favorite.  The scantly clad bartenders, shot girls, beer tub girls and swing girls are so fine.  And there is a constant overturn a this place.  You hardly ever see the same girls month to month.  Awesome.  Bring you’re A “hit on the help” game and don’t be a pussy.  These girls get hit on constantly, so do something to set yourself apart.  For the regular girls, Chillers and Lattitudes right next door are good.  Suite B is a cool lounge where you can bring the ladies and if you want young, hip, pierced and tattooed, head to Back Booth. Even on non-weekend nights you can usually find something going on in Downtown Orlando off of Church Street and Orange Ave.  Follow the noise and the crowd and have a good time.

The University of Central Florida is here and the typical Thursday night is good by the university at places like Knight Club, Library and Scoop.  There you will find all the Y your little Johnson can handle.  But be warned.  Theses bars are very cliquey.  Don’t be a pussy and roll up on the ladies.  The Wing House by the university is also really good mostly during the school year, where most of the hot college girls will work for easy tips off of the patrons that worship them.  Lots of beautiful YP.  The Hooters by the Orlando airport is usually good as well.

In the land of Disney, the titty bars are pretty terrible (no touching, no rubbing, no fun). But in nearby Alimonte, Rachels is pretty decent. There you will find beautiful girls to hit on– most every day of the week. Also close to Orlando is Lake Mary, Florida. The Tilted Kilt (yet another Hooters knock off) has some beautiful waitresses. Like I keep saying– learn to hit on the help.

God Damn Factor 9.0