What people may not realize, because politics and religion blind them, is that Israel is a fundamentally Mediterranean country. That means there is an awesome atmosphere here to hookup, as long as you aren’t Palestinian or look like you are. When you’re lying on the beaches of the Red Sea or the Mediterranean in Israel, you’ll see as many gorgeously tanned breasts per acre as anywhere in Europe. And come nightfall, the partying and available hot box rivals the Greek Islands. The people who live here are generally not any more devout than any Jewish kid you would ever meet at Harvard. And given that all people, men and women, are required to serve a few years in the army, how much more devotion do you need to show to God? Israeli’s enjoy an indulgent Mediterranean life. Need an indication? The drinking age is 16 and a favorite pickup line of the native PB’s is “Hello, would you like to have sex with me tonight?”

There are basically two types of Jews in the world: Ashkinaze Jews are originally from Northern and Eastern Europe, especially Germany, Poland, and Russia (the white boys) and Sephardic Jews, who are generally from Spain, Northern Africa, the Middle East/Iran and Southern Europe (the darkies). Ashkinaze’s are the Jews that the Nazi’s feared were going to take over the world. They’re the capitalists. They’re the money­lenders of Europe, the bankers and Hollywood moguls of the U.S. Sephardic Jews, on the other hand, are as laid-back as the Southern Italians or the Spanish. They party late, sleep late, and don’t really concern themselves all that much with money. Yes, the political and economic power is wheedled by the Ashkinaze, but the culture is defined by Sephardim. Israelis either hate or idolize foreigners. Most are pretty eager to meet and get to know you if you’re from somewhere else. English is spoken by nearly everyone, and signs of all types are almost always in English and Hebrew. If you aren’t Jewish, you may feel a tad out of place. So just pretend you are. Call yourself Josh or Eli and have some of your friends teach you some of the more important Jewish holidays in case they come up in conversation. Better yet, tell the girls you are an Israeli soldier. Now those boys get play!

Tel Aviv and Jerusalem are great places to hit on hot, Israeli YP as well as Eilat, in the south, which is basically the Cancun of the holyland. There are a lot of resort towns along the Red Sea, with plenty of nightclubs full of partygoers. Good times can also be had in Galilee. Tel Aviv is like a mini New York but with a topless beach. Wu! A long time ago, the Israeli’s built a big dike-like structure about 50 yards or so from the actual beach so enemies couldn’t land their ships. Now you can swim out there with a six-back or two, kick-back and enjoy the sun and the scam of all the gorgeous babes sunbathing around you. Jerusalem is somewhat more repressed, but still a good time. Being the “holy city”, it totally closes down on the Jewish Sabbath, from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. No public transportation runs and almost everything is closed. But on Saturday night, look out! The place explodes with all the repressed energy from Friday. Ben Yehuda Street is packed with bars, cafes, and nightclubs and is a total meat-market of Israelis and Americans. Gato in East Jerusalem near Sultans Pool, Sergei’s, Arthur’s, Glasnost, Cannabis are good places to start. There are also places to work in the Trussian Compound near Ben Yehuda Street, Zion Square and Tal Piot in Northwest Jerusalem. You will Israeli YP hanging out in the Orient Express on Mount Scopus near Hebrew University. King George and Ben Yehuda Streets is where everyone shops.

God Damn Factor 9.0

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