Houston, Texas USA


After one views the oasis of women in Dallas and Austin, the traveling PB would expect to find women of similar quality in Houston. There may be an equal number of good-looking girls in all of these cities but a large proportion of the ones in Houston work in titty bars. From a statistical standpoint, Houston tops Atlanta and Phoenix by distinguishing itself as having the greatest number of titty bars per capita of any major city in the United States. These aren’t tiny, seedy joints either. These titty bars are enormous with multiple floors, wide-open spaces and huge VIP rooms. I mention this, because it’s oftentimes more fruitful to spend your time hitting on the dancers in their native environment, rather than trying to scam on them when they are out with their friends on the weekend and don’t want to deal with men who aren’t feeding them $20 bills. For the best titty bars head to Treasures (code name Big T)and the Mens Club (code name TMC) in the Galleria area or St. James (code name Church) on the north side of town by Bush Intercontinental Airport. The girls are very friendly and give extremely interactive dances. These clubs are where you’ll have the best chance of hooking up. Get to know the managers here if you can, to get hooked up with free drinks, V.I.P and the dancers who worship the ground they walk on.

Outside of the titty bars, most Houstonian women congregate on the multitude of bars and clubs in mid-town, downtown and the Heights—Eight, Taps, Rayne, Manor, Benjy’s, Rare, Mo’s, Rich’s, Nox, Diem, Red Door Kung Fu Cafe and Blue Label and Hugh’s Hanger.

Downtown Houston was the bomb years ago, but now– not so much. There are a few places to hang though– Flying Saucer is always packed with PB’s macking on the cute waitresses in kilts. Venue is a cool dance club– only open on the weekends– waitresses are pretty, as is the occasional patron. After hours it’s Club 1815 that brings in all the Y.  After after hours, head to Mai’s Restaurant to chow down on some awesome Vietnamese food and sober up with on all of the other late night party people who are there doing the same thing.  Food makes drunk women horny, so this may be your last chance on any given weekend night.  On Sunday-fun day head to Hudson Lounge and Brixx (where they have outdoor areas to hang out) during the day and Sanctuary at night.

During the day, check out the Galleria, the big shopping district in town. There is one to match this one in Dallas further North. Alternatively, check out Rice Village by the University of the same name, on a Saturday afternoon. The University of Houston, Rice University and Houston Community College supplies the city with decent YP, so check them out if you have the chance. And if you happen to be in Houston in the spring, check out Buzz Fest in the Woodlands, where all the Y goes to listen to music at the Woodlands Pavilion after smoking weed and drinking in the parking lot. Are you into healthy, tree hugging granola chicks? Then head to the Whole Foods on Dallas and Waugh in midtown. There’s a bar there and usually some pretty, professional, health conscious girls shopping right after work or the gym.

If you are into the kicker bar scene (and what self-respecting PB doesn’t love hot Southern girls in Daisy Dukes?), head to Wild West on Richmond or Big Texas on the south side of town.  For whatever reason, Wednesdays are the nights for kicker bars in Texas.  Get out there and dance, my friends.  The ladies love it.

Down south of Houston you will find the small city of Webster, Texas. South of Houston, you will find the best prospects for Y. Hooters and Twin Peaks (both at Nasa Road 1 and I 45 South) have the prettiest waitresses in Houston on any given night. But be careful. It is cliquey down here. If you didn’t grow up here and know everyone in the town since high school, you have to be aggressive or have a referral from someone they know and feel safe with. Otherwise, if you want to be successful with the ladies down here, you will have to put in the time.

God Damn Factor 8.0