Rio de Janeiro, Brazil South America


It is said that the Brazilians are the most sexually active people in the entire world. Perhaps it’s because they have a damn good reason. There are lots of beautiful women here to rankle with—or do they?  I say nay nay.  The women here are pretty average—despite the supermodel exports.  So why do most all the men who  go to Brazil feel as though they are so beautiful?  One word gentlemen—ATTITUDE.  Brazilian women have the best attitudes of any women on earth.  They are cool as shit and so much fun.

To illustrate, I will tell you a story. I went to Rio for my birthday a few years ago, with some of my older professional friends.  Guys who are middle aged, divorced, with grown kids—who were totally unhappy with their dating choices in the USA and decided to head south to find what they wanted.  And they succeeded.

We arrived on a Wednesday afternoon.  For 3 straight days we ate what we wanted, drank what we wanted, runkled who we wanted withouth an MT in site!   By Saturday night (which was my actual birthday), I was exhausted, done, had it.  We were out at Nuche, which is the hotest club in Rio—just outside the city center, where I met 3 cute girls.  Not drop dead gorgeous, but very sexy and doable.  We talked for about 15 minutes, when it became clear the tall brunette was the one that liked me of the group.  We had a drink.  I told them it was my birthday and that my friends had left me to go out poaching.  I told them where I was staying, gave them a bsuiness card and took off.

One my way back to the hotel, I stopped to get a small meal.  When I got back to my hotel room, I had a message waiting for me.  The concierge ask me to please come downstairs because I had something that belonged to me in the hotel restaurant and bar area.  I asked “for me?”, “right now?” and the reply was yes.  So I took the elevator to the mezzanine level where the bar was and as the elevator doors open—NO SHIT—it was the girl from the club standing there with a huge chocolate birthday cake and the entire restaurance staff in a semi-circle behind her singing me happy birthday!  My jaw dropped.  I was like, “what are you doing here?”  She replied, “Oh, I just wanted to do something nice for you on your birthday and I didn’t want you to be alone.”

I was like—“so let me get this straight.  You left your friends at the hottest club in Rio on a Saturday night, drove across town, bought me a birthday cake, came here and waited for me to return and arranged for the staff to surprise me—and I met you for like 15 minutes?   Wow, that is by far the nicest thing any chick has ever done for me.”

Immediately I got my second wind.  I took her out.  Did VIP at the closest club down the street and we runkled all night long.  What an awesome birthday.  And THAT gentlemen, is why Brazilian girls totally rock!  That’s why we all think that the most beautiful women come from Brazil.  You are lucky to get an American girl to ignore her friends to talk to you for a few minutes—nevermind do something so spectacular.  Attitude like that turns an average looking girl into a good looking girl—a good looking girl into a beautiful girl and a beautiful girl into the hottest girl on the planet.  Attitude is everything.

Back to some details;  Rio de Janeiro, Brazil is famous for Carnival, the sickest party on earth. Let me repeat that: THE SICKEST PARTY ON EARTH. Take the most outrageous night of spring break combined with the best night you had on the Greek Islands. Add to it some of the beautiful girls you’ll met in this city and the drunkenness you experienced at Marti Gras, and Carnival is still a 100 times more fun than that. Traditionally, Carnival falls on the two weeks preceding the Lenten season, as does Marti Gras in New Orleans. That’s about where the similarities between Marti Gras and Rio’s Carnival end. Marti Gras is kind of like a milk-and-cookies, kindergarten birthday party compared to Carnival. Carnival is outrageous. It’s got everything; huge parades, naked women, drunken masses, more naked women, Samba dancers, men having sex with naked women. I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the idea. But if you are planning on coming, you had better make plans up to a year in advance, because no amount of money will get you a place to stay in a safe area of town when the time for Carnival draws near.

In fact the single bad thing about Carnival, and in fact about Rio and other cities in Brazil at any time of the year, is that it can be very unsafe. Wandering outside of the hotel district just off of the beach in Rio is totally stupid. The people in Brazil are poor, and a lot of them will kill you for your Nikes. Now it’s true that in many parts of LA or New York, the exact same thing can happen, but poverty here in Brazil is much more urgent. The locals can easily tell who the tourists are, and you are easy prey if you’re drunk and wander off where you shouldn’t. If you have friends or acquaintances who knows the area, stick close to them. In contrast to Argentina, where the women on average are all pretty good-looking, and Caucasian, the women in Brazil fall into a wide distribution quality wise, and they tend to be darker skinned. Some of them are not attractive, but the hottest ones may blow away anything you have ever seen before in your life.

However the best reason to come here in my opion is that it has the best professional scene in the world!  Remember this word, gentlemen—“TERMA”!  It means a Brazilian bath house, but ohhh ho ho ho…  It is so much more than that.  Most termas are arranged similarly.  When you show up to the front of the terma, you get a wrist band that has a number and a key on it which fits a locker in the mens changing area that corresponds to that number.  You go inside the changing room, take your clothes off and put on a robe and slippers ala Huge Heffner.  There is a house mom there to assist you.  There’s always a shower, a message therapist and a hot tube, which you can partake of before or after heading upstairs to the bar area.  Ohh ho ho ho…  There in the bar area gentlemen, you will find droves of scantly clad, beautiful Brazilian girls—all waiting on a runkle from you.  Take your time.  Chose the ones that you really want.  Talk to them, have a drink with them, a bite to eat with them, make out with them.  All of the things that you order, you order with the number on your wrist band.  If you want one or two or three for that matter, they will take you upstairs to one of the private rooms and leave you there (choming at the bit), take your wristband and register that room to you by your number.  She come back freshly showered and changed into something more comfortable than her bar outfit.  By the time she comes back, you are going to be so aroused with anticipation, that you are probably going to totally attack her.  If you chose wisely, you can let her just go to town on you, while you just relax and enjoy.  When you are done, you can go downstairs, shower, relax and repeat said process over and over—for as long as you want.  God, I love this country.

My favorite termas here are;

1)   Centauras

2)   Quatro por Quatro

3)   Luomo

4)   Monti Christo

I am a big fan of termas, because they are safe, you are in a controlled environment, the  girls are regularly sceened for anything that you don’t want to catch, there are so many girls to chose from and you can take your time and really enjoy yourself.  Honestly, if God told me I was going to die two days from now, I would spend the first day flying to Brazil from wherever I was and the second night in the termas of Rio.  The term “happy hooker” applies here more than anywhere in the world.  That is because these women are VERY sexual and on top of that, they do whatever the hell that they want, whenever they want  and with whomever they want.  They have little or no inhibitions.  They don’t care what other people think (unlike American girls most notibly).  They only care how they themselves feel.  Now that is totally refreshing.

I prefer to stay in Impenema—made famous by that cheesy song we’ve all heard at least once in our lives.  Copacabana is cheaper, but its dirtier and more dangerous in my opinion.The beaches in Impenema and Copa are totally different to.  Impenema is classier, prettier and has more “normal” girls as opposed to the not-so-attractive professional girls roaming around Copa.

But head to Terra Atlantico in Copa for some eats and the world famous club next door, Help (pronounced “help-EEE”by the local girls.  It’s a club and a meeting place for the independent pros.  I have mixed feelings about it.  There can be drama with those girls outside of the controlled environment of the terma.  But it also could be the best time of your life.

There are strip clubs where you can bar fine the girls and take them back to your place which I like better than Help but not as good as the terma.  You get to see what you are getting, but you have no idea what she is like sexually.  If you invest in one, it is usually for the night, so you won’t be likely to go back for seconds if the first one doesn’t work out.  However, it is a change of place, there is a lot of variety and the girls can be pickier and usually are paid more, since they come to your hotel or apartment.  So it draws a different kind of girl.

God Damn Factor 9.0