Beaches in Denmark


Probably the best thing about Denmark is that the beaches here are pretty good in the summertime by Scandinavian standards. The Danish girls who can’t make the trip to Greece or Spain because of financial, time or parental constraints can be found here in places like Hornbaek, a short train ride from Copenhagen and Bornholm, an island off the coast. The water is hell cold, so none of the female beach goers bother getting wet— by jumping in the ocean that is! Just cruise the beach for the honeys sun bathing during the only time of the year, when it’s at all warm enough to do so in this part of the world.

One of the dumbest things I’ve ever done was blowing off a beautiful Dane I met on the beach in Hornbaek. I made a classic PB mistake. I sat down next to a group of Danish girls of all shapes and sizes, mostly ranging from 34-42 D. One of the girls took a particular liking to me and wanted to go for a jog on the beach. Then she asked, if I wanted to go for a swim. The whole time all I could think of was how many of them I could runkle, and in what order, instead of runkling the one that was most interested in me first, and then working my way around to the others later. As we sat on a buoy anchored about 50 meters off shore, we showed each other our tan lines. I was reasonably modest, but she dropped her bottom to show me hers. Acting indifferently (something I learned to do in Paris) I muttered something like, “That’s nice. Do you want to swim back to shore?” When we got back, she refused to speak with me, and I wound up not bagging a totally beautiful chick, because I was too damn stupid to realize that she wanted to jump the bone, not the buoy. She said something in Danish to her friends, and I got the cold shoulder for the rest of the afternoon. By the way, just in case you’re wondering, it is anatomically possible to kick yourself in the ass, if you’re a squid! And eating a humble pie is a lot less tasty than having a danish for breakfast!

God Damn Factor 8.5