The first time I traveled through Europe, I met two ex-gas station attendants from Sydney, Australia who had been working and traveling around the world for six years! Literally, they had been everywhere and done everything. We emptied many bottle of wine, while I listened to story after story of their exploits. When I asked them where they thought the most beautiful women in the world were, they answered me in unison and without hesitation, “No doubt. The most beautiful women are in Argentina!” Imagine if you will the Spanish, Italians, French, Germans, Africans, Jews and indigenous Indian population of South America contributing the most attractive features of their women to the melting pot that is Argentina. The possible combinations defy the imagination. For those of you who saw Evita, the movie, remember that this is the country where women are so hot, one of them slept her way to the very head of the government.
One of the most beautiful girls I ever hooked up with, lived here in Buenos Aires. She had jet-black hair, emerald-green eyes, angelic complexion and an outrageous body. Actually, she was originally from a place in a Southern part of Argentina called La Tierra delFuego, which literally translated means “the land of fire”. It was named during Magellan’s historic voyage around the world, as he passed through what is now the strait, which bares his name. The cannibals on shore taunted Magellan’s crew with their torches and painted faces, and thinking they had sailed into the depths of Hell, they named that land so. The cannibals must have eaten all the ugly people and positively selected for Argentine women as beautiful as the landscape in this area of the country. Darwin would be proud.
In the city center, the Avenue Florida and the Avenue Callao, along with North Rivadavia and Sante Fe by the university are where all of the shopping districts are located. It is best to come here during the week when all of the hot professional Argentine girls are working downtown. They will show themselves during morning and afternoon rush hour, as well as lunch time, breaks and after work for happy hour. The University of Buenos Aires is located off of North Paraguay. (There is a subway stop right there.) There is another campus in the Cuidad Universitario located north of Palermo. The classes here are held on a bizarre schedule that often has their students scurrying in and out of class up until 11:00 PM.
Recoletta is the chick neighborhood in the city where the older crowd (meaning chicks in their mid-twenties) tends to hang out and do the bar thing while the YP is out at the dance clubs in Palermo and Polermo Soho. Buenos Aires absolutely rocks from Thursday through Saturday and every night before a national holiday. It is as good as Madrid or Barcelona with the best YP you will find in any clubs, in any country. The age range of the clientele is typically 16 through 22. Yes, the partygoers here are very young. How do you spell “pouch”? I spell it A-R-G-E-N-T-I-N-A. All the worthwhile clubs (save a few you have to ask a local about) are in the Northeast of the city in the area of town called Palermo off of Ave Sarmiento. You’ll know you’re in the right place, when, from the vantage point in the taxi, you can see hordes of youngsters lined up outside the clubs trying to get in. Inside you’ll find plenty of good-looking girls to try to get into as well. Try out your Spanish and be polite, if you want to get anywhere. Beware– this place reminds me of Paris. The girls go out with their friends and sit in cafes for hours and hours with the same drink– just talking and laughing and totally disinterested in meeting anyone they don’t know.
The best clubs Buenos Aires these days include Honduras Hollywood, Jockos, Hipopoamus and Cocodrilo. And if you can get in, check out Tequila– it’s the best high end place in the city. Don’t bother going before midnight. When the sun is coming up, head to Kentucky for early morning pizzas and the chance to hit on all of the girls coming out of the clubs late night to eat and sober up. Now let me warn you. The Argentine girls will not runkle early on in the game. You could meet a girl who is totally diesel. Big, natural jammers– totally into you. You two are drinking, dancing, talking, whatever. Then at then end of the night, not only does she not go home with you, but she won’t even give you her cell phone number! She will give you here email address, so that you can Face Book her, and then she can check out your FB page to see if you are legit. So make sure you FB page is tight!!! Then after a courting period of 30 days or so, she will finally runkle. That’s a long sales cycle for me personally. And yes, there are pretty women here, but they are more elegant and sophisticated than pretty to me.
The best ex-Pat bars are Sugars and Magdalena’s Party in Palermo. Sugars is the only place where you can watch any American football or baseball in the city on a big screen. Magdalena’s is owned by English-speaking Canadians and Americans. It is part American Bistro, party cafe. In short, it is totally BA! In Palermo, there are tons of these boutique hotels. Over priced, but nice for BA. Stay in the youth hostels if you can. Not only are they hell cheaper, they are way more fun and some of them have bars or clubs attached to them. Easy pickings for the PB in search of the tourist YP!
When you finally meet that girl from BA who toasts your biscuits, take her to dinner at Sipan (for great Peruvian food), Don Julio (for great Steak), or Cabana Las Lilas (for even better steak). For drinks Million or Congo. For someone really special, you can take her to an Estancia (or Ranch), for a luxury experience on a Argentinean style dude ranch.
God Damn Factor 7.5